I always wanted my blog to focus on matters that are important to me. At first, I created a fashion blog, in which I was commenting on celebrities’ fancy outfit choices. Then I was writing about new trends, how to style them, where to look for them and what occasion they will suit. Months later, I changed my blog again and this time around I was creating my own virtual styles, hoping women will like the way I show how to dress according to their size and body shape and will be somehow inspired. I was pretty certain that this is what I wanted to do because fashion has always been, is and will be my unconditional passion. I guess I wanted to be some kind of a virtual fashion stylist, that was the idea behind it at first. I don’t even know if this even exists? Is this a real thing – a virtual stylist…? Anyway, I gave it a go and they were all super fun, but I felt like it wasn’t the main reason why I wanted to write. I felt like something was still missing and at the time I couldn’t figure out what was it, so I closed the site entirely. I wanted my blog to feel honest and truthful and although I put my heart into each one, I didn’t want to write just about fashion. Deep down I felt like I could use my potential to do bigger and better things. I wanted to inspire, but not thorough clothes.
Then big questions ‘How’ and ‘Why’ started to haunt me almost every day. Why do I want to inspire others? My mind was going crazy. I have achieved pretty much nothing so far. I didn’t go to Uni or finished fancy private school – instead, I went to public high school back in my home town; I haven’t done courses, seminars or workshops so it’s fair to say, I am not highly educated. I don’t have children, so couldn’t give any advice on parenting either. I haven’t traveled the world, so this reason for the inspirational blog was also not really relevant. I know fashion, but it’s only self-taught knowledge without any solid background, so sooner or later someone would point this out to me, meaning I had to abort this mission too. So WHY do I have balls and no shame to inspire others and how do I do it? There came a point in my life in which I’ve found myself on a chair at the therapist’s office. I suffered badly from depression and have been diagnosed with severe anxiety. It took me a few good years to admit that firstly, I need help, and secondly, I have to learn how to live with it. Mental health issues and particularly depression are in my opinion, the number one sickness in the modern world. I have finished the therapy three years ago, but I am well aware this illness will stay with me until my last day on this planet. I will always be anxious, no matter how good or bad my situation might ever be. But I vow not to let myself into the dark corner ever again. And so by seeing me getting up every time I fall, I hope you will do the same and we will inspire each other to live a great life, regardless.
I’ve heard many stories from people who went through depression or are suffering from it now, and I simply cannot let them think they are alone with this. I’ve been there, and I know it’s a constant, everyday battle with your own mind, but the way we see our struggles isn’t always dark and scary. I have been taught how to overcome depression and perhaps yes, without any medical experience and education, I still do want to inspire you to think you can go through this too. Someone helped me a while ago, and I guess I want to give something back to others now because I know not many people will go to their local doctor out of the shame or embarrassment, and not many people can afford private therapy sessions. I am not here to talk about your problems or educate you, but I hope by covering difficult topics, you will find it helpful for your situation.
One of the things that I have learned from my therapist was ‘You will cross the bridge when you get to the bridge’. This is now my life motto as those few words saved me from losing my anxious mind. I am very prone to jumping into conclusions based on worst-case scenarios, this is a fact. But when I keep repeating to myself that I haven’t reached the bridge yet, then the thought of it keeps me calm and in peace. I can then control my own emotions and I don’t end up in a panic mode. But if I find myself panicking for any reason, what then helps is if I sit down in a quiet place, close my eyes and take ten deep breaths. I count to ten every time when I breathe in, and when I breathe out. This technique not only calms my nerves, but also my entire body. My heart slows down, blood pressure is getting lower, I stop sweating and my stomach feels normal again. I find it incredible how your brain can control your entire body and this breathing exercise really does make a difference in stressful moments.
What I have recently been doing is I do that exercise even when I am in the meeting with other people or at the party or in a public place. If I am getting stressed, and we all know it does happen to everyone, I have to try and keep myself calm no matter what, because there is no shame in doing that while others are watching. I don’t feel embarrassed because I keep saying to myself that my sweating or blushing will be more embarrassing than simply breathing. And it does help. The power is within you and your mind.
Try it and let me know if it works for you too.